11.16.2006 † 8:34 pm
i miss my mommy

I lost my mother two months ago
She is completely gone
and I still find it near impossible to believe
I have her cremated remains
I can see the bone fragments mixed in among her ashes
and yet...i still wonder if its really her
Her hospital bed is empty
Her apartment cleared out
I saw her the night she was dying
but I didn't believe it
I couldn't cry
because I knew that she would still be alive in the morning
but she was gone by 2 a.m.
and I want her back
We used to talk on the phone everyday
when I got out of class
When I leave my job
I want to call her and tell her about my day
When I fight with my sister
I want her to make me feel better
to tell me she loves me
I want her to be alive and healthy and happy
I want her here so much
Losing a mother is so unnatural
I don't understand how she is gone
mom, i miss you


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